When was the last time you truly felt joy, fulfilment, or even a bit of excitement in your daily life? If you are reading this, chances are, it’s been a while. You might be feeling drained, stuck in a loop of negative emotions, like anxiety, doubt, or even overwhelm.
Negative emotions are more than just fleeting feelings, they’re exhausting. They cloud everything, making it hard to see any positives, even in moments that should feel good. This emotional weight doesn’t just disappear with time. In fact, if left unaddressed, it can snowball, leading to burnout. But we keep going, don’t we? Because giving up isn’t an option. So where does that leave us? How do we get back to a place where we feel light, joyful, and fulfilled?
Let’s dive into what’s going on and how to break the cycle.
The Emotional Load We are Carrying
Life throws challenges at us, and it’s perfectly natural to feel negative emotions like fear, frustration, or sadness in response. But when these emotions aren’t processed and released, they don’t just vanish, they stick around. We might push them to the back of our minds, telling ourselves that we’ll deal with them later, or maybe we simply don’t know how to handle them. Whatever the reason, these emotions settle deep in our subconscious, showing up again and again whenever a similar situation arises.
Have you ever noticed how certain events or people seem to trigger the same emotional response in you? That’s likely to be your stored emotions coming to the surface, asking to be dealt with. It’s often about the everyday, small emotional scars we accumulate.
For example, perhaps someone dismissed your input in a meeting. It stung, but you brushed it off. Now, years later, you might notice that speaking up in any meeting causes anxiety, and you’re not sure why. The impact of these seemingly small moments can build up over time, adding layers to the emotional baggage you carry, eventually leading to burnout if left unaddressed.
Small-t Trauma: The Quiet Culprit
We often hear about major traumas, what therapists call “big-T trauma,” like abuse, violence, or severe neglect. They are serious and need to be addressed with professional support. But what about the smaller emotional wounds? “Small-t trauma” refers to those moments in life that, while not catastrophic, still leave a lasting impression on our emotional well-being. This could be a childhood moment where we were scolded unfairly or felt unnoticed or a situation of feeling unappreciated at work.
Small-t trauma is sneaky because it’s easy to dismiss. We might tell ourselves that others have it worse or that it’s no big deal. But over time, these unresolved emotions accumulate, and they can impact our self-confidence, how we interact with others, and even our professional growth.
In many cases, these emotional wounds start in childhood. Maybe a parent or teacher unintentionally made us feel like our opinions didn’t matter, or perhaps we experienced a big life change, like divorce or a family move, that left us feeling unsettled and unheard. These moments often become the roots of recurring emotional patterns that hold us back later in life.
How EFT (Tapping) Can Help Release Emotions
Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), also known as tapping, is a simple yet powerful method for dealing with those stored emotions that are weighing us down. It combines Eastern acupressure techniques with Western psychology, allowing us to gently release stuck emotions by tapping on specific acupressure points while addressing the feelings aloud.
Think of it as a way to access and clear out old emotional baggage from our subconscious. It’s not about reliving traumatic experiences but instead about acknowledging the emotions tied to them and letting them go for good. The result? We stop being triggered by those situations and our emotional load gets lighter.
Real Stories, Real Results
Let’s look at a couple of examples of how EFT has helped some of my clients break free from emotional patterns that were dragging them down.
Client #1: Speaking Up with Confidence
This client came to me because she was struggling with anxiety at work, particularly around speaking in meetings. The fear of having to present in front of clients was causing her sleepless nights. She knew it was holding her back from advancing in her career, a career she was deeply passionate about.
During our EFT sessions, we discovered that this anxiety stemmed from an incident when she was just eight years old. Her teacher had sent her to deliver a message to another class, and when she did, the receiving teacher snapped at her for interrupting. The humiliation and shame she felt in front of the class had left a deep imprint, teaching her that speaking up could lead to public embarrassment.
Through EFT, we were able to process and release the emotions tied to that childhood incident. As a result, she found herself speaking up in meetings with much more confidence, no longer held back by the fear of being humiliated.
Client #2: Feeling Seen and Heard
Another client came to me with a deep-seated feeling that she didn’t matter—that her voice and needs were always overlooked. This feeling was affecting her relationships and her overall sense of self-worth.
Through EFT, we uncovered that this feeling had its roots in her parents’ divorce when she was a young child. Her mother had moved her and her siblings across the country, far away from her school friends and familiar surroundings. She was never asked how she felt about the move, and because her mother was clearly struggling, she didn’t feel she could voice her own feelings. This taught her at a young age that she didn’t matter, that her opinions and needs weren’t important.
After working through this in our EFT sessions, she came to the realisation that in her adult life, she does matter, and her voice does deserve to be heard. The shift was profound, and it rippled across her personal and professional life.
Taking Control of Our Emotional Well-being
EFT isn’t just a one-time fix; it’s a tool we can use whenever we feel negative emotions bubbling up. For example, if we start feeling anxious before a big presentation, taking just five minutes to tap on our anxiety can help release it in the moment.
However, for deeper, recurring emotional patterns, it’s best to work with a practitioner who can help us uncover the root cause. Once those deeper emotions are processed, we can release them for good and feel lighter, more grounded, and ready to take on life’s challenges without the emotional baggage.
Conclusion: Finding Joy Again
Addressing the emotions that are draining us is crucial not only to prevent burnout but also to rediscover the joy and fulfilment that we deserve. Life as a professional woman can be demanding, but it doesn’t have to be joyless. By taking the time to process and release stored emotions, we can break free from old patterns and create space for more joy, optimism, and energy in our lives
Wendela Elsen is an ICF certified coach and EFT practitioner. She helps professional women navigate draining life challenges to restore joy and fulfilment in work, family and social life. You can read more about her work on her website https://openrabbit.com
©Wendela Elsen, 2025, All rights reserved.